A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments...
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the expensive designer jeans that you bought a couple years back, but don't wear because you say they not the "in" name this year.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
THE END OF THE STORY........
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
KARANGAN TERBAIK UPSR 2007
Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu. Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.
Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya.
Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri.
Feri itu terbelah dua. Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan.
Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu. Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi.
Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris. Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai.
Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati.
Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.
Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya.
Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri.
Feri itu terbelah dua. Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan.
Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu. Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi.
Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris. Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai.
Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati.
Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.
SELLING COMBS TO THE MONKS
Question: If your company, Comb manufacturers assigned you to sell combs to the monks in the temples? Can you do it?
What will be your answer?
a) No Way. Impossible.
b) Crazy.
c) I will give it a try in order to follow my boss instruction .
d) Well, I will try.
e) Ya, I think I can sell 5pcs, 10pcs, 50pcs, or more (you name it) .
Pick an amswer above and read below to find out if you are going to be a successful person or not at all . . .
The Story: SELLING COMBS TO THE MONKS ===================================
There was one company manufacturing combs which intends to expand its business and so the management wanted to employ a new Sales Manager. The company ADVERTISED the vacancy in the newspaper. Many people turned up for the interview everyday... almost a hundred people in just few days. The Company now having the problem to choose the right candidate for this position. So the interviewer had set a Difficult Task to those who want to come for final interview. The Task: Selling Combs To Monks In Temples Only 3 Applicants willing to stay on for this Final Interview challenge. (Messrs A, B and C).
The Interviewer instructed, "I want three of you here to sell these wooden combs to the monks in the temples. You only have 10 days to do it and report back to me." After 10 days, they reported. The Interviewer asked A: How many have you sold? A Answered: Only One. Interviewer: How did you manage to sell? A: The monks in the temples scolded me when I show them the comb. But on my way back to downhill I met a young monk who bought it to scratch his head due to dandruff."
Interviewrer then B: How many did you sell? B replied: 10 pieces. I went to a shrine and noticed many devotees's hair was in bad shape due to strong wind outside the shrine . The monk in there listened to my advice and bought 10 combs for their devotees by showing respect to the Buddha statue.
Then, the Interviewer asked C: How about you ? C replied: 1,000 units. The Interviewer and the other 2 candidates were astounded. Interviewer: How did you manage that?! C replied: I went to a famous temple. After observing for few days I discovered that there were many tourists. I then told the Chief Abbot,"Sifu, those who come here are very devoted. If only you could give them a gift, this will surely elate them. I told him that I have a bulk of combs here and ask him to endorse on the combs as a present to those visit here. He was very delighted and straight away ordered 1,000 pieces."
End of Story --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MORAL OF THE STORY: HARVARD UNIVERSITY had done a research that says:-
1) 85% of success is due to attitude and 15% is capability.
2) Attitude is more important than intelligence, specials skills and luck . In other words, professional knowledge only constitutes 15% of success of a person and 85% is due to self-cultivation, public relation and ability to adapt.
Still remember the story of Selling Shoes to Africans?
When 2 Salesmen were sent to that continent, one of them remarked: Can not do it. No one wears shoes there? The second saleman said: It is good to market. A lot of opportunities. Success and Failure is dependant on how we face problems.
My dear friends , Do you know eagle lives up to about 70 of age? But when it reach 40, its claws start to age and can not grab the preys. It also can not fly as well. So, it is time for the eagle to make a choice; wait for death or goes through a renewal process. If it choose to live, it must try its best flying to the top of the hill where it will stay for 150 days. There it will rub its feather against stones so that they will drop off and wait for new ones to grow. When the feather has grown enough which takes about 150 days, it will continue its balance of 30 years life.
Dalai Lama used to say: If you only have smooth sailing in life, you will be weak. Teething troubles helps to shape you up so that you have the gut to resolve problems . Though the world is undergoing financial turmoil, we still must greet our future with optimism.
My dear friends, make your vow and build a better tomorrow . Remember: When economy is good, there are also people going bankrupt. When business is bad, there are new millionaires produced.
What will be your answer?
a) No Way. Impossible.
b) Crazy.
c) I will give it a try in order to follow my boss instruction .
d) Well, I will try.
e) Ya, I think I can sell 5pcs, 10pcs, 50pcs, or more (you name it) .
Pick an amswer above and read below to find out if you are going to be a successful person or not at all . . .
The Story: SELLING COMBS TO THE MONKS ===================================
There was one company manufacturing combs which intends to expand its business and so the management wanted to employ a new Sales Manager. The company ADVERTISED the vacancy in the newspaper. Many people turned up for the interview everyday... almost a hundred people in just few days. The Company now having the problem to choose the right candidate for this position. So the interviewer had set a Difficult Task to those who want to come for final interview. The Task: Selling Combs To Monks In Temples Only 3 Applicants willing to stay on for this Final Interview challenge. (Messrs A, B and C).
The Interviewer instructed, "I want three of you here to sell these wooden combs to the monks in the temples. You only have 10 days to do it and report back to me." After 10 days, they reported. The Interviewer asked A: How many have you sold? A Answered: Only One. Interviewer: How did you manage to sell? A: The monks in the temples scolded me when I show them the comb. But on my way back to downhill I met a young monk who bought it to scratch his head due to dandruff."
Interviewrer then B: How many did you sell? B replied: 10 pieces. I went to a shrine and noticed many devotees's hair was in bad shape due to strong wind outside the shrine . The monk in there listened to my advice and bought 10 combs for their devotees by showing respect to the Buddha statue.
Then, the Interviewer asked C: How about you ? C replied: 1,000 units. The Interviewer and the other 2 candidates were astounded. Interviewer: How did you manage that?! C replied: I went to a famous temple. After observing for few days I discovered that there were many tourists. I then told the Chief Abbot,"Sifu, those who come here are very devoted. If only you could give them a gift, this will surely elate them. I told him that I have a bulk of combs here and ask him to endorse on the combs as a present to those visit here. He was very delighted and straight away ordered 1,000 pieces."
End of Story --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MORAL OF THE STORY: HARVARD UNIVERSITY had done a research that says:-
1) 85% of success is due to attitude and 15% is capability.
2) Attitude is more important than intelligence, specials skills and luck . In other words, professional knowledge only constitutes 15% of success of a person and 85% is due to self-cultivation, public relation and ability to adapt.
Still remember the story of Selling Shoes to Africans?
When 2 Salesmen were sent to that continent, one of them remarked: Can not do it. No one wears shoes there? The second saleman said: It is good to market. A lot of opportunities. Success and Failure is dependant on how we face problems.
My dear friends , Do you know eagle lives up to about 70 of age? But when it reach 40, its claws start to age and can not grab the preys. It also can not fly as well. So, it is time for the eagle to make a choice; wait for death or goes through a renewal process. If it choose to live, it must try its best flying to the top of the hill where it will stay for 150 days. There it will rub its feather against stones so that they will drop off and wait for new ones to grow. When the feather has grown enough which takes about 150 days, it will continue its balance of 30 years life.
Dalai Lama used to say: If you only have smooth sailing in life, you will be weak. Teething troubles helps to shape you up so that you have the gut to resolve problems . Though the world is undergoing financial turmoil, we still must greet our future with optimism.
My dear friends, make your vow and build a better tomorrow . Remember: When economy is good, there are also people going bankrupt. When business is bad, there are new millionaires produced.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
mother's day
it was mother's day yesterday.....
very first time i celebrate it with my mum and aunt Batma
anne bought cake
anni goren beehoon and jelly
we celebrate t in the morning
me, anni, kanaeh, chithi, amma and dharshinie was there....
nobody knows wat happen to my other siblings....
i gave my mum money rather than buy something that not important to her...
it was really nice to celebrate it with her...
hope she felt appreciated
i love u mum.....even i never said it to you....i hope that u understand how much i love u and the family.....
i promise to my self that i wil come back home every mother's day....
how about father's day????? no body knows......only god knows about it.....
i am my father's very 1st enermy....i guess......
wat ever....i know its very hard to make everybody happy
i accept what god plan for me.....
happy mother's day amma
very first time i celebrate it with my mum and aunt Batma
anne bought cake
anni goren beehoon and jelly
we celebrate t in the morning
me, anni, kanaeh, chithi, amma and dharshinie was there....
nobody knows wat happen to my other siblings....
i gave my mum money rather than buy something that not important to her...
it was really nice to celebrate it with her...
hope she felt appreciated
i love u mum.....even i never said it to you....i hope that u understand how much i love u and the family.....
i promise to my self that i wil come back home every mother's day....
how about father's day????? no body knows......only god knows about it.....
i am my father's very 1st enermy....i guess......
wat ever....i know its very hard to make everybody happy
i accept what god plan for me.....
happy mother's day amma
Monday, January 19, 2009
Wedding
Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we marry'.
Monday, January 5, 2009
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